Hello Adam,
Thank you for allowing me to provide my testimony. It has been a blessing to hear what's going on with others out there that are dealing with this illness, and how we can all work together by the Grace of God to win this battle. Please include my email, so I can be reached by anyone who would like to contact me. Thank you! Dsm0210@hotmail.com
1st Episode
I am now at age 40 and this illness began to strike me at the age of 24. I had a lot going on at the time. I was abusing alcohol, taking drugs, got a DUI, and just got my girlfriend pregnant. We agreed she was going to go back to Sweden and have an abortion, so I headed up to Lake Tahoe from Southern California with some friend to party for New Years. After a couple of days of partying, I think I almost drank myself to death, and ended up in the hotel room, and it was like a cloud of fog had come upon me. I told myself and my friends, I'm just "done" with all this impurity in my life. I was pretty much mute with my friends, and I started becoming paranoid at the television shows I was watching. So when I got back home the paranoia continued, and I was having racing thoughts, and voices directing me all over the place. It was the time the OJ Simpson trial was going on, and I was home for days, tripping out on that whole incident. After so many days my parents found out about what was going on, and came and brought me back from Palm Springs, where I was living at the time, and took me to the detox center in the hospital. I was there for a day, still hearing voices, and in a fog. They were monitoring all my vitals, and taking tests, and found nothing in my system, and everything else checked out. I was then taken to a psychiatric hospital for a few days. I was being medicated, meeting with a psychiatrist and psychologist, and so struggling with everything going on in my head. After three days, I woke up from a sleep and the fog that was all around me just lifted suddenly, and it was like I just snapped out of it. The doctors never really came to a conclusion what had happened, they thought it was a nervous breakdown. Within the next few weeks, I continued with the meds, and then got my life back going again, and back to work.
2nd Episode
Ten years later, I had again, a lot of stress going on in my life, using drugs and alcohol, just got out of another impure relationship with a woman, and going through a bankruptcy. I was on a 48 hour binge using cocaine and alcohol, and received a phone call from my mom, on a Sunday, asking me where I was. I had totally forgotten that they were suppose to take me out to celebrate my birthday. I was "so" blown away that this just happened. I headed home to my apartment, got down on my hands and knees, and prayed to God, and said "I give up, and I need help." The next day I called a friend who had been sober for many years, and he led me to AA., and I was also invited to go to church with another friend. Soon after that the "fog" was back, racing thoughts, paranoia, and the voices in my head. I was taking walks to the beach, with all this going on in my head, and I was screaming and cursing at God. As I was looking up in the sky, I was screaming at the top of my lungs saying, "if you're really their, then strike me down right now." When I returned home, I found in my apartment, my parent and some family and friends. They asked If they could take me to the hospital, and I agreed. At the hospital it was the same experience as the last, and everything was checking out right with my physical health. Then, in the middle of the night I got up out of the hospital bed, and went around the room sensing that I could heal all the other patients that were there. The nurse on duty began freaking out at my behavior, and called the police in, and an officer told me to go into my room. I listened, and as he followed me in, he pulled out his tazer gun and told me to lay down on the bed. I gently, put out my hand in peace, saying to him I didn’t mean any harm, and he shot me with the tazer. It felt like my whole body exploded, and I screamed, and pulled the darts out of my chest. I was still standing and he again said get down on the bed, and I did. He jumped on top of me, and more officers came in and held me down. The funny thing was I wasn’t even resisting. They then handcuffed all four limbs of mine to the bed on my stomach. The nurse came and shot me with some medicine, and I eventually passed out. The next day I was taken up to the psychiatric ward and it was just like the visit at the last hospital ten years before. This time they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder/ schizophrenia . I went to stay with my parents for a while and still had all the racing thoughts going on in my head. Two months later I went out to play tennis with my brother, and tore my Achilles tendon. Looking back I can tell at this time God just sat me down, and I was out for three months. During this time my aunt, who has been a Christian most of her life sent me a Bible and I started to read it. Now, before this, I always believed in God, and even remember as a young boy, asking Jesus Christ into my heart. I said my prayers, and attempted at times to read my Bible, but never understood it all. So I began reading the Bible, and I sensed God speaking to me with reading His Word. I also was going to church when I could and God was also speaking to me about my life through the pastor. My life was starting to make a lot of sense. I had no meaning or purpose in my life before this, and something I’ve always been looking for. Eventually, I got back to work after my injury and things were feeling normal again.
3^rd Episode
November, 2007 I accepted Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior, and I was baptized at the church I had been attending. Great change began taking place in my life and I was finding meaning and purpose, and God was giving me direction. Just over a year later I was following the Lord and His Word, and the voices and racing thoughts began again. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital again, and went through the same thing again. After a couple months, I stopped taking my meds because everything was feeling normal, just like I had done in the previous episodes.
4^th Episode
Ten months, again, fog, the racing thought, etc, etc… This time I ended up in San Francisco, with my Bible, preaching the gospel on the streets, and hanging out with the homeless. I ended up in a hospital up there, and let out after a few days. Wow, I hate these hospitals so much.
It is now July 2010, and I’ve accepted the bipolar disorder, which they have diagnosed me with since the last episode. I have agreed to stay on the meds, and so far everything is working out ok. There are times, lately, where the voices try to creep into my mind but I am learning ways to keep them away. Without my faith, I don’t know how I could handle all this. I understand God has allowed this to go on in my life, and he has a reason for it. I just know that I need to be down on my hands and knees every morning, and surrendering myself to His will. He is a faithful and loving God, and I praise Him always. I know this is a very long letter, but I really do hope this will touch someone out there and help them. Please contact me if you'd like. 
Blessings,
David