I wanted to thank you for sharing your testimony. I am
recovering from anxiety/panic disorder that knocked me off my feet this past
Thanksgiving 09. Some days I feel a little more like myself, and other days I
feel like I'm in a fog, and my vision has been giving me problems since the
episodes.
A week before Thanksgiving, I woke up one night, from a head cold, and could not
breathe. Suddenly, severe panic set in and would not let up the whole night. I
could not sit down, and was all alone. It sat on me for 1 1/2 weeks. I could not
find rest, day or night, and felt like God abandoned me. I've had panic attacks
before, but never any that lasted like this one. It went away for a month, then
came back even stronger, and I thought I was losing my mind! I was so tormented,
felt totally alone and numb to the world.
I'm not one who sits in depression for very long; I love life, family and
friends. Thankfully, I had a strong support group with my parents and siblings.
I have been a Christian my whole life, but never really dealt with my anxiety
disorder. I asked my mother, "Please, tell me this will pass..." I didn't want
to live anymore like this, but fought it day in and day out. My mind would not
stop racing, fear of it never letting go kept me in a constant state of panic.
Amazingly, when I was at a point that I thought I would be hospitalized, I found
testimonies online of others who recovered or how to deal with these episodes
and live a wonderful life. It gave me supernatural strength and hope! God had
his hand on me the whole time!
I knew I had to deal with an area of unbelief, feeling God would not deliver me
through this. I had to actually repent of unbelief, because unbelief is sin. I
gave the enemy a foothold that turned into a stronghold through unbelief! After
spending much time in God's word, prayer and feeling His supernatural power
overtake me and grant me beautiful peace, I now know I am on the mend! When the
thoughts of fear overwhelm me, I fight back with the Word of God, cast down all
imagination and think upon what is pure, holy and praiseworthy.
You have to practice this, and the feelings may not go away instantly, but I'm
finding them going away quicker than before! The devil is a liar, who comes to
kill, steal and destroy! God says He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of
love, power and a sound mind! He says be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and
petition, present your requests to God with thanksgiving, and the peace of God,
which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ
Jesus! So, if we are adamant, daily meditate on His Word and speak it over our
minds, trials and tribulations, we can have peace and joy in the midst of the
storms of life. But, you can't get complacent! We must fight the good fight of
faith! Be careful what you watch on TV, listen to, etc...The Bible says to watch
and pray. More than ever the devil is unleashing great fear upon the earth, and
God does not want us to be be off guard. We must press in harder than ever
before, until His return!
I have reached out to others going through depression or anxiety since these
episodes, and know that this will always be a ministry for me. I look forward to
totally feeling like myself again. I know, if I persevere in faith, prayer,
obedience to God's word and daily communion with Him, I will recover completely!
Blessings to you and may God continue to heal you and restore you. We are still
alive, which is a sign to me, we have work to do here on earth, and we can do it
with joy and peace, no matter the circumstance!
Jenny~